[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Befriending Stress: Personal Growth ©2023]

We begin with the development of a positive stress mindset.

First, what do we mean by ‘mindset’, and how does this differ from perspective? The term ‘mindset’ doesn’t refer to our full worldview or way of thinking, but a subset thereof – so we can have mindsets on more than one topic. It begins, yes, with a certain perspective, yet to be considered a mindset rather than a mere point of view, we must also engage with it in some way, to integrate this way of thinking into our daily life. We often identify with others who share our same mindset; for example, we may align a certain way politically and identify with those of similar perspective, though we may differ from them in other major ways, such as religious beliefs, while the reverse could also be true.

And, what constitutes a shift in mindset? Following on from above, periodically we may gain a new perspective in some area; our way of thinking about it has changed. We then engage in some sort of activity that helps us apply it personally, to more fully integrate this new viewpoint into our own life. Finally, we share this concept with others, by seeking out those who share our new point of view and/or in telling others why we’ve changed our thinking about a certain area, and at this point: we’ve experienced a mindset shift.

Sometimes, this comes as a sudden awareness, often referred to as an “aha!” moment of revelation; something has occurred that’s caused us to change a particular perspective. For example, the person who has long-held beliefs about a certain group of people may be helped by them in a surprising way, and his previous belief shifts. Just as often, the mindset shift occurs over time, in multiple such encounters or other occurrences that belie our previous way of thinking, and we become increasingly convinced to see things differently.

Our stress mindset can be either positive or negative; we can believe that stress is harmful, even debilitating, as a century of research has pointed out (and isn’t wrong), or we can believe that it brings beneficial aspects from which we can develop in positive ways. This isn’t an absolute, it’s important to note, but a continuum; we can fully recognize the benefits of stress while also understanding that, if viewed negatively and approached as something to be controlled or ignored, it does indeed result in harmful health effects. As mentioned in the introduction, the view that we choose to support can have a significant effect.

A mindset of stress as beneficial, then, must be our starting point to befriending stress – not that we view negative stressors themselves as positive, but that we begin to recognize the benefits stress brings to our physical and mental health, performance, and behavior, and that it provides us with an opportunity for growth.

The stress-as-beneficial mindset has been linked to cognitive improvements in attention, decision-making, and mental flexibility, psychological benefits of mood and life satisfaction, and biological outcomes as mentioned including stress hormones and improved cardiac functioning. That racing heart when faced with a sudden stressor is unlikely to fail, if there’s no predisposing weakness; rather, it’s pumping blood to the body’s brain and muscle tissue in order to achieve an optimal state of readiness. Its pounding may be alarming to you, but the heart is beating a drum of alert – and functioning at its peak.

Think about this mindset shift for just another moment. Across cultures, stress has long been seen as something painful to be avoided. This shift, then, in viewing stress as something welcome and growth-enhancing, is so profound that it may have a major ripple effect throughout the world – especially in such highly stressful times as these.

We must be very clear: no one is saying that we should accept the death of a loved one, our diagnosis of terminal illness, or a natural disaster that kills thousands and destroys communities, as something positive. It’s not the event itself but our response: while initially destabilizing, stress causes our bodies and minds to react in a cascade of events meant to bring us back into balance – and that flooding of oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, cortisol, adrenaline, norepinephrine, and more brings with it some very positive health benefits. Yes, our bodies and minds are at risk in the presence of extreme stress. And, our bodies and minds are designed to recognize and deal with this through a myriad of homeostatic mechanisms.

In the face of stress, we may feel emotionally devastated – and, we have biological support that can enable us to thrive in the aftermath. The significance of this cannot be overstated.

Chronic stress brings less of a biochemical flooding – as mentioned in our introduction, the sympathetic aspect of our autonomic nervous system isn’t fully engaged in chronic stress – so while we will still experience some such, this is where our mindset becomes even more important, as mind and body work together. How we view the impact and outcome of stressful events over time will greatly affect the actual outcomes.

This isn’t a matter of wishing something into being. We can’t wish away our cancer or bring back our loved one. Rather, it’s a fundamental view regarding stress itself, not only our handling of it but the very nature of stress and the human stress response, that will determine its impact on us.

The Stress Mindset Measure, published in 2013 by Crum, Salovey and Achor, originating theorists earlier mentioned, has both adult and youth versions. In our quest here in this first key, as we work to shift our own mindset toward one of stress as beneficial, the following questions from the adult version may be helpful.

Begin with asking yourself these 3 preliminary questions. (You may want to explore these and the ones to follow simply in contemplation, or in a journal or similar.) How much stress am I experiencing in my life right now? What is the primary source of stress in my life? How stressful do I perceive this to be?

And then we must consider our response to each of the following statements. The effects of stress are (a) negative and to be avoided, or (b) positive and to be utilized. Experiencing stress (a) facilitates or (b) inhibits my learning and growth. Experiencing stress (a) depletes or (b) improves my health and vitality. Experiencing stress (a) enhances or (b) debilitates my performance and productivity.

It’s important to note that in the measurement tool itself, these questions are separated out and ranked according to the strength of one’s belief (from ‘not at all’ to ‘fully support’) – which is to say, this isn’t as absolute as presented here but more nuanced. In your consideration, then, allow for this; in each of the above statements, your current belief may fall somewhere between the two options presented, which represent polarities.

We do want to work, however, toward those positive poles. If your present views of stress (and if you’ve a major stressor in your life currently, your stress mindset may be powerfully influenced by same) lean more toward the harmful pole, then you may wish to work toward a shift in the opposite direction.

Stress mindset theory is also supported by the Transactional Model of Stress, in which we perceive stressors either as a challenge which can lead to positive outcomes, or as a threat that invokes negative outcomes – and that the perception itself, and how we act on it, is a matter of choice, and practice.

But how do we do this?

First, simply learning more about the research that supports this will help. You may wish to read an article or two on ‘stress mindset’ or ‘benefits of stress’ (scientific if so inclined; or if not, you’ll also find a number of media reports that reflect these scientific findings). When presented with new information, we often find our own views changing as a result.

Secondly, you may wish to consider (again, in contemplation or in journal-writing or other expressive method, as you prefer) stressors you’ve experienced throughout your life and any positive outcomes, in the short- or long-term, that resulted. In the moment, it may seem purely stressful, or even painful. When we reflect, however, we can often recognize our own growth as a result. Someone who’s gone through a painful divorce, for example, may later realize how much more independent they’ve become. This helps to reinforce your positive stress mindset; not only are the facts and research supportive of same, but when you think about it, your own stressful experiences have also resulted in some positive outcomes.

Thirdly, then, how can we more actively engage with this in current and future experiences with stressors?

When stress comes again, or if it’s here now – and who doesn’t have stress in their life? but we’re talking about major stress – there are generally two stages. If acute – devastating news or an accident, for example, or if positive, perhaps the month following a job promotion or the birth of one’s baby – we first need a period of emotional recovery, and some of our later keys can help with that. When we’ve passed the acute stage and are settling into a more chronic recovery period, or find ourselves in long-term stress generally, we must shift our focus to the positive biological benefits of stress, through journal-writing, meditating, imagery, and other methods to be discussed. We search for any potential positive outcomes including personal growth, as we work toward those goals instead of focusing on an endurance of the stress itself.

Easier said than done, naturally. However, in this key we work to shift our stress mindset in the direction of stress as beneficial; we are building a foundation, a core belief. Our other keys, then, will help us to actually take steps toward this end, even when in the midst of major stress.

Do your research now. Read more about the stress mindset and positive benefits of stress. Reflect on your own prior experiences, and perhaps record some positive outcomes and personal growth that resulted. Build your foundation. Plant all this firmly in your mind.

Cultivate that stress-as-beneficial mindset.