[Excerpted from, 9 Keys to Transcendent Aging: Transpersonal Psychology ©2023]

Our 3rd key to transcendent aging is meditation.

Uniquely transpersonal, this spiritual or metaphysical practice has us going deep within (introspection), focusing (contemplation), and transcending (nonattachment, nonduality, interconnectedness). Its benefits, especially as we age, are enormous.

The ‘empty-mind’ form of meditation can be challenging, and it’s often better to begin with contemplative practice, mindfulness meditation, or introspection – to give our minds a singular focus, something to do, rather than absence. Once our skills improve – and if you’re new to meditation and reach a point (or many points) at which you’re ready to quit and declare that you’re no good at it, remember that it’s a skill to be learned – we can then move on to inner silence and empty-mind.

Meantime: we can focus on our breath. Most of us breathe rather shallowly anyway, and as we age, we need to encourage oxygen supply to tissue even more, so a practice focused on breathing serves at least 3 purposes. When we calm our mind and minimize distractions, then focus on our slow and even breathing, and return our focus to that breath every time it wanders (and it will), we’re nurturing brain and body.

At its core, meditation is a deeply calm state of mind for a period of time. Naturally, that’s an oversimplification – but it is in fact a simple, yet profound, practice. There’s a whole lot more going on than a quieting of the mind, however. We can use it for all manner of psychological and transcendent exploration, as we’ll soon see. And as we refine our skills of focus and attention, this brain training is especially beneficial in our elder years when attention and memory can become compromised (Stevens & Brooke, 2022).

In fact, brain health in a broad sense is a direct benefit, including cognition, emotional regulation, executive function, and memory (Moss et al., 2022; Ramírez-Barrantes et al., 2019). It’s also been shown to decrease and prevent depression (Reangsing et al., 2021). In general, meditation can prevent age-related brain atrophy (Luders et al., 2021; Moss et al.; Vago, 2022) – and also benefits the cardiovascular system by lowering blood pressure and regulating heart rate, decreases inflammation, and contributes to pain management (Vago).

Anti-aging research has focused increasingly of late on our DNA telomeres – and meditation has a measurable effect on minimizing telomere decay, indicating that it slows biological aging (Boccardi & Boccardi, 2019; Conklin et al., 2019). In a wide-ranging ‘evidence map’ review style of 1999-2019 research on meditation, Schlechta Portella et al. (2021) found broad evidence for its benefits both physical and psychological.

Four universal positions for specific uses of meditation were studied by Angeles Arrien (1993). A sitting position is one of learning, of discovering our inner knowledge and wisdom. Lying down for meditation is a form for healing, when we’re focusing on physical or mental healing of ourselves and when undergoing any healing work given by another. Standing meditation accesses our inner warrior, a position of empowerment both physical and psychological. And moving meditation, found in any rhythmic movement that shifts our consciousness into a meditative state, from walks in nature to jogging, swimming, dancing, rocking / swaying, or even perhaps vacuuming, is associated with creativity, innovation, and problem-solving.

As we age and our bodies change, we often like our physicality less (who is that old person looking at me from the mirror??), and meditation, when we consider the physical aspects, can provide a way of reconnecting mind and body, of loving our whole self, aging body included.

In introspective meditation, we can know ourselves better as we observe the thoughts, memories, and emotions that arise, recognizing them, considering their associations, and then gently allowing them to drift away again. It’s a useful tool for self-awareness and for emotional intelligence. As we age, it’s also a safe and effective way to observe our feelings around issues related to our aging process, including fears and anxieties we may have, and while recognizing and attempting to better understand those feelings, also acknowledging their temporal nature as they dissipate.

We may also meditate on our life’s meaning, for example, and on our own sources of wisdom, as we’ve looked at in our first two keys. In this way, we can also engage in meditation on the topic of our life and what it means to be alive, on our relationships and the nature of love, on our experience of beauty and goodness, and much more. We introduce the topic, and wait to see what our unconscious brings forth.

The distinction from contemplation of same is in the meditative state of mind; when meditating, we’ve altered our consciousness from an alert state to one akin to self-hypnosis, in which we can more readily access our ‘deep mind’ or unconscious. Rather than analyzing and assessing meaning or wisdom, for example, which was recommended in our first keys (and both approaches are useful), meditation is a matter of putting ourselves into a dream-like state and introducing the topic, then quietly waiting to see what bubbles up to the surface.

Meditation provides us, then, with a readily accessible method for improved understanding of and compassion for ourselves, mind-body connectedness, and means of accessing innate or noetic wisdom.

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Exercises:

The basic form for meditation involves a quieting of the mind, minimizing of external distractions, and focusing on slow and controlled breathing. When we notice our thoughts have wandered, as is common, we simply redirect our focus back to our breathing. Another basic type is the body scan, in which we enter that same quiet state and slowly and methodically scan each part of our own body in turn; this is also an excellent way to achieve or maintain a cohesiveness of body and mind.

Explore uses of meditation in terms of body positioning. Experiment with the same simple meditation technique of focusing on our own slow and steady breathing, in each of the 4 positions with its corresponding focus – sitting: learning, standing: empowerment, lying: healing, moving: creativity / problem-solving – to discover how they differ, and how you can apply them for personal growth.

Another type of moving meditation comes from Buddhist mindfulness practice: exceedingly slow walking, in which you match each step to an inhalation or an exhalation. Rather than generate creativity as in rhythmic movement, this brings a precision in the sense of increased focus and attention coupled with a greater ability to filter out all distractions. (It’s good for balance and lower body strength, too.)

The Loving Kindness Meditation, also from mindfulness, focuses on compassion. Enter a meditative state as above, then focus on each of 5 areas in turn: compassion for yourself, for a good friend, for a person about whom you feel neutral, for someone you find difficult, and finally, toward all sentient beings. (And perhaps, in a truly transpersonal and mystical sense: expanding infinitely into the cosmos.)

One especially powerful meditation is a focus on one’s own death. Shocking, perhaps, even to contemplate from afar, it can be a deeply moving experience, the goal of which is to remove the sting of our mortality – to transform fear, anxiety, loss, or any other negative feelings we may harbor.

In a related meditation, we can focus on our continuation after death, our ancestorhood and our infinite expansion: in the sense of our wisdom and influence, the people we’ve touched and lives we’ve changed, our legacy which ripples out endlessly in the pond of humanity.

References:

Arrien A (1993). The Four-Fold Way: Walking Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer, and Visionary. New York: HarperCollins.

Boccardi M and Boccardi V (2019). Psychological Wellbeing and Healthy Aging: Focus on Telomeres. Geriatrics 4:1:25. https://doi.org/10.3390/geriatrics4010025

Conklin QA, Crosswell AD, Saron CD et al. (2019). Meditation, stress processes, and telomere biology. Current opinion in psychology 28, 92-101. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.11.009

Luders E, Jain FA, and Kurth F (2021). Diminished Age-Related Decline of the Amygdala in Long-Term Meditation Practitioners. Psychosomatic Medicine 83:6, 650-654, 7/8.  https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000913

Moss AS, Reibel DK, Wintering N et al. (2022). Cerebral Blood Flow and Brain Functional Connectivity Changes in Older Adults Participating in a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program. Behavioral Sciences 12:2:48. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs12020048

Ramírez-Barrantes R, Arancibia M, Stojanova J et al. (2019). Default mode network, meditation, and age-associated brain changes: What can we learn from the impact of mental training on well-being as a psychotherapeutic approach? Neural Plasticity 7067592. https://doi.org/10.1155/2019/7067592

Reangsing C, Rittiwong T, and Schneider JK (2021). Effects of mindfulness meditation interventions on depression in older adults: A meta-analysis. Aging & Mental Health 25:7, 1181-1190. https://doi.org/10.1080/13607863.2020.1793901

Schlechta Portella CF, Ghelman R, Abdala V et al. (2021). Meditation: Evidence Map of Systematic Reviews. Frontiers in Public Health 9:742715. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2021.742715

Stevens BA and Brooke N (2021). Meditation and Mindfulness: Resources for Aged Care. In: Gu D and Dupre ME (eds), Encyclopedia of Gerontology and Population Aging. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-22009-9_146

[Excerpted from, 9 Keys to Building Resilience: Health Psychology ©2023]

A third fundamental aspect of resilience is found in this key: having an adequate support system.

Humans are social creatures. While those among us who are more introverted, highly independent and self-motivated, and from an individualist culture may well endure hardship with minimal support from others, it simply isn’t the norm. Our best chance of recovery and thriving in the face of major adversity comes in the support of others – not always directly but also in the form of perceived social support – we feel supported.

This goes back to our earliest childhood. In the first few years of life, children in a healthy family dynamic develop basic trust and an unconscious belief in an essentially benign universe – that when stressors arise, they’ll be resolved and our comfort restored. As an infant, we wail in distress and someone makes things better, whether we’re lonely, hungry, or uncomfortable; before we can speak and long before logic and reason arrive, we develop a largely unconscious belief that stressors are short-lived and therefore manageable, a fundamental source of our resilience. Even if the family dynamic is less than healthy, or a child is neglected, just one caring adult in a child’s life is sufficient for basic trust to form.

At the same time, we develop an attachment style, a deeply embedded sense of whether we can rely on others to be present for us and meet our needs. Secure attachment, the norm, is essential to one’s resilience throughout life; we don’t need a large support system, nor even necessarily to call upon anyone for help in our time of need – merely to know that if we did need assistance, there are people we could call. This is part of our core security, one of the most basic human needs.

In January of 2020, I was in China – and as everything began to shut down across the country, I moved quickly over into Hong Kong, one of my former homes and more manageable. There longer than intended, as my multinational research itinerary began falling apart, by mid-March I crossed into India; the morning after my arrival, shutdowns began, forcing me once more to abort my plans and quickly depart for Istanbul, another part-time home.

In the first full lockdown, it occurred to me that I knew very few people in Istanbul, and might find myself in need of support at such a profoundly challenging time. I reached out via social media to women in my neighborhood, and formed a support group of now more than 40 women who live within walking distance of one another, which remains active to this day. As a few group members became infected with Covid, we made sure that each had what she needed; we communicated regularly, ran into one another at the supermarket, organized small gatherings when possible, and provided a very local safety net for one another.

Social belonging or bondedness is essential to our mental health and wellbeing, and mutual support, both giving and receiving, is critical to resilience. When in combination with compassion and kindness, the emotions and actions that create and reinforce such bonds, social support was seen to be protective against pandemic-related stress and conducive to posttraumatic growth – resilience, and thriving (Slavich et al., 2022).

Social bondedness has been strongly associated with posttraumatic growth, as demonstrated in a large-scale review of 217 studies totaling 47,940 participants (Ning et al., 2023). A biopsychosocial model for recovery following trauma, with a primary focus on resilience facilitated by social support, is proposed by Calhoun et al. (2022), to include both intra- and interpersonal coping skills alongside other factors such as biological stress response.

The wellbeing of nurses during the pandemic, one of the most highly stressed professions in a public health crisis for its ‘front-line’ nature, was of great concern around the world. The role of social support, in particular that among colleagues as many health care workers were isolated from their families due to the risk they represented, was demonstrated as essential to their resilience (Kilinç & Çelik, 2021). Nursing even at the best of times is considered a profession at high risk for burnout or mental and physical exhaustion; in a review of 6 studies among 4 countries across 3 continents, Galanis et al. (2022) found social support to be consistently protective of nurses’ resilience.

Disaster aid workers are another such high-risk profession, not only for the physical risks that must be taken but also for mental and emotional distress. As we saw most recently here in Türkiye when two major earthquakes [February 2023] resulted in more than 50,000 fatalities, countless injuries, and over 3 million displacements, disaster aid requires a vast amount of stamina both physical and psychological. A psychological concept analysis of disaster resilience undertaken by Mao et al. (2022), in a review of 26 studies, indicated protective factors of social support and coping strategies as well as personality, sense of control, and self-efficacy or perceived capability.

Young people, both adolescents and young adults, are also a high-risk group in the face of adversity. We often feel that youth brings resilience, but we must also consider the lack of emotional maturity and coping skills. I spent 10 years in South Korea, one of the highest in the world for adolescent suicide rates; the pressure on young people to succeed academically and professionally, coupled with a longstanding dearth of employment opportunities for new graduates, and the responsibility to family, create an undue degree of emotional pressure on young, still-developing brains.

Both social support and religiosity demonstrated significant correlation with resilience among adolescents in a group foster home, or state care, another risk factor (Arafat et al., 2022). It should be noted that the study took place in Indonesia, a deeply religious culture in which religiosity may not be able to be distinguished from social belonging, and indeed, significant correlation was also noted between these two variables as well as each individually with resilience.

Youth in relative isolation may be even more at risk. In a study of 354 rural young women in southeastern US, both family support and a sense of belonging were found significant to resilience in long-term stressors such as poverty (Abbott et al., 2021). In chronic illness, social support was demonstrated significant to resilience in a European study of 3 illness groups numbering 10,577 in total (Maguire et al., 2021); interestingly, positive social appraisals were associated more strongly with wellbeing, or thriving, than was the extent of social contact – that is, the positive opinions and assessments of others held more weight than the size and substance of one’s support system. (I must wonder if this is a byproduct of our technological, social media-driven age.)

The importance to resilience of social support and bondedness – feeling we have others who will support us, to whom we matter, and that we belong – cannot be overstated. We humans are social animals, after all, and while we may possess a high degree of self-efficacy, we can’t always ‘go it alone’ when facing severe adversity or crisis. Building that social structure, those relationships, in times of relative stability, then, is key to our resilience reserves, or capital.

And – don’t forget the element of touch. Kidd et al. (2023) have proposed that affective touch, the simple touching when emotion is also involved, i.e., touch of a friend or family member, may well be a critical factor in why social support fosters resilience. Kind or well-meant physical contact is essential to the development of our bondedness and social relationships throughout the life span – and also to that of our physiological systems for the regulation of stress.

Skinship, as it’s called in Korea, my once and former home…my favorite word.

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Exercises:

First: clarity. On a blank sheet of paper, draw a small circle in its center in which you’ll write your own name. (Make this circle just big enough to contain 3-10 other names.) Then, draw a ring around it; and, add two more. This target-looking shape is the beginning of your sociogram. In the center circle, around your name write the names of others you consider to be in your innermost social circle, placing the names close to yours or closer to the margin as you see fit. Then, do the same for each of the surrounding circles – and there may even be a few names outside of the final circle, truly on the margins of your life. Include only those with whom you have a relationship of any sort; acquaintances, however friendly, aren’t part of this. Once you’ve finished, reflect; are there names you wish were closer to yours? Further away? Names that aren’t here but you’d like for them to be? Other potential changes? This is a depiction of your social and support system – and, you can make changes to it where appropriate. Consider how.

Similarly, conduct a mind-mapping exercise beginning with the word ‘relationship’ or ‘connection’ in the center of a sheet of paper; fill the page quickly with any words that come to mind based on that original prompt, not names this time but concepts, and see where it takes you, drawing lines between words as you go to denote their relatedness. Afterward, reflect on what ‘relationship’ actually means to you. You can also engage in this as a journal entry, though the mind-mapping is more spontaneous and random, less controlled, and therefore has more potential for getting to your deep and true mind.

Make a commitment to prioritize connectedness in your life. If an extravert, this will likely include a lot of people (though focus primarily on that inner circle); if more of an introvert, perhaps you have a few meaningful relationships that you can make your priority. Reach out to people, connect regularly if only by messaging, meet in physical reality whenever possible.

If growing your social system is in order, consider joining a group that focuses on something you value – in which you’ll meet people who share that value with you. This could be a sport, a class, volunteering, indoor or outdoor hobby, political, religious, and many others; the list is endless.

Become more engaged on your social media platforms. Don’t just scroll past the posts of friends and family, or lurk silently in a group; contribute, like and share the posts of others, connect in a way that lets them know you care about them (even if you don’t care about the post itself). In our technological age, this too is social connectedness – but the trend of late is for broadcasting more than engaging, and for scrolling by, which isn’t connection at all.

Text or message people in your life just to say you’re thinking about them, or that they’re important to you. If that seems too emotionally expressive for you, text them just to say, ‘hey – you okay?’

Be sure to build your relationship with nature, too, with regular visits and deep engagement – the ultimate support system.

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References:

Abbott LS, Graven LJ, Schluck G et al. (2021). Stress, Social Support, and Resilience in Younger Rural Women: A Structural Equation Model. Healthcare 9:7, 812. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare9070812

Arafat MY, Netrawati N, Daharnis D et al. (2022). Youth Resilience review based on Religiosity and Social Support. International Journal of Applied Counseling and Social Sciences, 4:1, 8-14. https://doi.org/10.24036/005510ijaccs

Calhoun CD, Stone KJ, Cobb AR et al. (2022). The Role of Social Support in Coping with Psychological Trauma: An Integrated Biopsychosocial Model for Posttraumatic Stress Recovery. Psychiatric Quarterly 93, 949-970. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11126-022-10003-w

Galanis P, Katsiroumpa A, Vraka I et al. (2022). Relationship between social support and resilience among nurses: a systematic review. medRxiv. https://doi.org/10.1101/2022.09.04.22279592

Kidd T, Devine SL, and Walker SC (2023). Affective touch and regulation of stress responses. Health Psychology Review 17:1, 60-77. https://doi.org/10.1080/17437199.2022.2143854

Kilinç T and Çelik AS (2021). Relationship between the Social Support and Psychological Resilience Levels Perceived by Nurses during the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Study from Turkey. Perspectives in Psychiatric Care 57, 1000-1008. https://doi.org/10.1111/ppc.12648

Maguire R, Hanly P, Maguire P (2021). Living well with chronic illness: How social support, loneliness and psychological appraisals relate to well-being in a population-based European sample. Journal of Health Psychology 26:10),1494-1507. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105319883923

Mao X, Hu X, and Loke A (2022). A Concept Analysis on Disaster Resilience in Rescue Workers: The Psychological Perspective. Disaster Medicine and Public Health Preparedness 16:4, 1682-1691. https://doi.org/10.1017/dmp.2021.157 

Ning J, Tang X, Shi H et al. (2023). Social support and posttraumatic growth: A meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders 320, 117-132. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.09.114

Slavich GM, Roos LG, and Zaki J (2022). Social belonging, compassion, and kindness: Key ingredients for fostering resilience, recovery, and growth from the COVID-19 pandemic. Anxiety, Stress & Coping 35:1, 1-8. https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2021.1950695

[Excerpted from, 9 Keys to Mindfulness for Health: Health Psychology ©2023]

When was the last time you truly had a beginner’s mind?

Or perhaps this isn’t uncommon for you – if you’re an artist, say, or maintain a close relationship with the natural world – or with children. Perhaps you’re often filled with awe and wonder, delight and glee, curiosity and openness to new ideas and experiences, and accepting of change.

Are you?

This isn’t a typical state for adults, no matter what our cultural background; we like to feel that we’re mature, perhaps sophisticated, and maybe even a little jaded – we’ve seen and done plenty, and little can surprise us. ‘Beginner’s mind’ doesn’t mean a return to childhood, however, nor that we should become childish – or even, childlike. (Not really.)

Of course, in one sense, being a beginner is uncomfortable. We may be well capable, with a strong sense of self-efficacy and empowerment, and then take a language course for example, and find ourselves helpless once more. No one particularly likes this feeling.

Travel can also give us this experience; even as we can plan well and circumvent much of that helplessness, we are still beginners in the new environment. We may experience plenty of joy and wonder as we visit new lands, while nature is another such source. Creativity, too, as we pursue the creation of something new, whether object or idea, and are open to alternatives, curious about possibility. Living abroad – something I’ve done for these past two decades in a series of countries and continents, is another such challenge, often bringing a sense of helplessness yet also with many moments of awe. Too many times, when things in the new country are done in a way remarkably different from what I know, and I haven’t sufficient local contacts or support, or simply can’t function in the local language, I’ve said (often in frustration): It’s like having to learn, all over again, how to tie your own shoes.

And why is this beginner’s mind so important to mindfulness?

The state of mind we seek is one of new experience – openness, flexibility, and an absence of preconceived ideas. If we come to mindfulness already thinking we know all about it, no matter how many books we’ve read or other forms of self-exploration we’ve undertaken, we’re likely to miss half of the experience. We’ve come with a mind half-closed because we think we already know ourselves, and/or the process of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is mental training, yes, and self-exploration even as Buddhists belief the self to be an illusion (and not only Buddhists – the existence of the self as a distinct structure is debated in psychology, too). We explore our mental-emotional terrain in order to know it fully, to understand reality, and ultimately, to experience interconnectedness with all sentient beings and transcend the self entirely, or to the degree possible. All of this requires a ‘willing suspension of disbelief,’ as is said in the performing arts; in mindfulness meditation, for example, we must be open to whatever may come, no matter what, looking at our own thoughts, emotions, mental phenomena openly and objectively, with compassion, before sending them on their way.

And this doesn’t only apply to those who truly are beginners in mindfulness (yet who may think they know themselves quite well already); it’s also true for experienced practitioners. Almost despite my near-4 decades of mindfulness practice, not a day goes by that I don’t learn something new about myself, and about mindfulness itself, and that pleases me enormously. At times I even finding myself laughing out loud, that at this stage of life and of mind exploration, I so frequently discover new aspects – and I realize anew how very little I truly know. (I suspect multiple lives are indeed required.) Too, there’s a pure joy to be found in being a beginner, in admitting freely that there’s far more you don’t know than you do, and in embracing an experience as fully as possible.

These qualities also relate to peak experience, as described by Maslow, founder of humanistic and transpersonal fields of psychology and theorist of the now widely known hierarchy of human needs. Peak or transcendent experience is that which lifts the top of your head just a bit, as your mind is expanded with awe, and bliss. Birth of a baby, wonders of nature, sudden insight: these are all peak experiences, and meditation can bring the same. Mindfulness in everyday life, too: as we pay attention to our lives, our chance of peak experience and of awe, in many factors previously taken for granted, is exponentially increased.

Imagine walking somewhere in a natural setting. You can rush through, eager to reach the mountain’s peak or to finish the trek; or, you can meander, notice everything, take joy in a vast parade of ants as they go about their complex colony business. (That last bit happened to me only yesterday.) Clearly, taking that walk as a form of moving meditation, mindfully and with an openness of heart, will make for a far richer experience.

Oishi and Westgate (2022) have proposed just that. While we typically think of life goals in terms of happiness and/or presence of meaning, both of which are surely significant, they suggest that there’s a third approach: the psychologically rich life, filled with new experiences, wonder and awe, changes in perspective, transcendence – and, that curiosity and openness provide the way.

In a review of 41 experimental studies, totaling 4,496 participants, Schutte and Malouff (2022) demonstrated the power of curiosity-enhancing interventions – ways that curiosity can be increased, as it brings many benefits such as creativity, problem-solving, memory, cognitive enhancement, and more. They found that activities involving mystery or game-playing were the most likely to stimulate curiosity, regardless of age or other factors.

It may seem easier to cultivate this ‘beginner’s mind’ when things are going well, and that hardship or suffering would cause one to become more closed to experience. While there is some truth to this, Forgeard et al. (2022) found that openness to experience remains stable following difficulty; we may fall off the horse, and even break a bone or two, but we’re still likely to get back up on the horse at the next opportunity. Humans are resilient, after all – and mindfulness enhances resilience too, so this becomes a feedback loop: we cultivate a beginner’s mind in order to engage in mindfulness, which increases our resilience; when adversity comes, rather than shut down, we remain open because of that increased resilience – and thus, remain capable of mindfulness.

Even in the face of moral injury, the wounding that strikes at the core of who we think ourselves to be (e.g., the profound compromise in one’s religious belief or other source of meaning following war or natural disaster), if we have psychological flexibility we’re better able to recover (Borges et al., 2022); equally, cultivating that flexibility even in the midst of attempting to heal from such injury will help us to do so. We can equate mental flexibility to beginner’s mind.

For the health psychologist, helping the person facing physical and/or mental health concerns to adopt a beginner’s mind, of openness, curiosity, and acceptance, is a very useful therapeutic starting point. Rather than thinking we already know how to handle the situation, being openminded in this way helps us to learn new methods and approaches, to benefit from the experience of others.

So, how do we cultivate a beginner’s mind?

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Exercises:

Grow your curiosity. What are you curious about? And what more? And what’s beneath or tangential to that? Treat life like you would a Wikipedia entry; let everything that sparks your initial curiosity lead you to something else, and another, and another until you find yourself increasingly curious about, well, everything.

Engage in a perspective-broadening exercise. On a piece of paper, write a controversial topic at the top – and 3-4 points supporting the side of the issue opposite to how you really feel. Think deeply, try not to judge, and simply support that opposing side, in order to develop your ability to think more objectively.

Simple brainstorming is a good exercise for opening one’s mind. Again, on paper, write a single word in the center – anything you choose – and then, as rapidly as possible, fill the page with as many related words and ideas as possible, and see where it takes you. (Speed is important; keep your creative thinking a step ahead of your inner critic, filtering nothing.) Do this regularly, on a range of topics. Engage also in mind-mapping, similar to the above but also drawing lines between words to indicate relationships; look for connections.

If you’re inclined toward language study, begin learning a new one – in a class with other beginners, or by app alternating among several languages. Language is fundamental to how we know ourselves; learning a new one not only throws us back into beginner’s mind, but also opens up our view of ourselves at the same time.

Taking a course in anything for the first time surely cultivates beginner’s mind, especially if the course topic is unrelated to anything we’ve studied previously. We all like to feel skilled and capable, but learning something new reminds us, largely on an unconscious level, what being a beginner actually feels like.

Similarly, travel – solo – to a destination very different from your usual type. Even as you engage in preparation, as one must, allow for a change of plans at any moment, and be open to new experience as much as possible.

Ask questions. Incessantly, if only in your own mind (or your journal). Pretend to yourself that you’re an investigative journalist – or a toddler – and keep asking questions. (About yourself, too.)

Invite the opinions of others whom you trust, and genuinely listen to and consider them. Again, we generally like to feel that we know what we’re doing and not to seem hesitant or unsure in front of others. But in asking for someone’s input or feedback, you’re allowing the other person a moment to feel helpful, and allowing yourself a moment or two of being humble – or, of experiencing beginner’s mind.

Experiment. Take risks. As you’re trying new things, also try doing your regular activities in a way different than you normally do. Embrace variety, diversity, exploration. Get lost once in a while. See the world anew.

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References:

Borges LM, Barnes SM, Farnsworth JK et al. (2022). Cultivating psychological flexibility to address religious and spiritual suffering in moral injury. Journal of Health Care Chaplaincy 28:S1, S32-S41. https://doi.org/10.1080/08854726.2022.2031467

Forgeard M, Roepke AM, Atlas S et al. (2022). Openness to experience is stable following adversity: A case-control longitudinal investigation. European Journal of Personality 36:4, 483-506. https://doi.org/10.1177/08902070221076902

Oishi S and Westgate EC (2022). A psychologically rich life: Beyond happiness and meaning. Psychological Review 129:4, 790-811. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000317

Schutte NS and Malouff JM (2022). A meta-analytic investigation of the impact of curiosity-enhancing interventions. Current Psychology 42, 20374-20384.  https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-03107-w

[Excerpted from, 9 Keys to Mental Self-Care: Health Psychology ©2023]

Gratitude and self-compassion are powerful mental health care.

Much has been written about gratitude. And while not quite the cure-all that some propose, it’s surprising just how therapeutic an attitude of appreciation can be.

When I awake each morning, I’m grateful for a new day, and a fresh start. I awake with the rising sun (yes, I’m a lark, rather than an owl), and I’m thankful for the sunrise, too. My little cat is typically curled up against me, and my heart overflows with gratitude.

All this, in the first 30 seconds of the day.

We can feel grateful for the smallest, yet exquisitely beautiful, things. A praying mantis recently landed on my shoulder and sat there for a short while, and I was filled with wonder at this extraordinary creature. As I’m writing this in late June, in my Istanbul apartment amid a densely urban environment, my desk faces a window outside of which is a clear blue sky and a window box of lavender and thyme, visited by bees, with mourning doves nested and cooing nearby. Sunbeams stream in onto my desk and tiny rainbows, from the prisms I’ve hung in the window, dance all around me – and I am consumed with gratitude.

Even when we’re dealing with difficulty, no matter how profound, and indeed, especially then, if we can notice and appreciate these tiny moments, it goes a long way to alleviate our troubled mind. In making a habit of gratitude, we infuse each day, and our lives, with these moments of beauty, and powerfully affect our health for the better.

Self-compassion is like that, too.

In the sense that we can also turn gratitude toward ourselves, not in an egotistical way but in a basic appreciation, we’re already engaged in self-compassion. I’m grateful that I awoke today, can get out of bed and prepare breakfast for myself, am able to be kind to others and a caring person – for example. Gratitude toward oneself is closely linked with self-acceptance, and self-compassion is the mediator, as demonstrated in an online survey study with 290 participants (Homan & Hosack, 2019).

In self-compassion we treat ourselves as we’d treat others and as we’d like for others to treat us, with less negativity and judgment, and more kindness and love. In this way, self-compassion is healing and nurturing; we give ourselves the positive emotions that we, and all humans, crave and require for good health.

Each time we show ourselves compassion, we’re telling our deep mind: you’re worthy of kindness, and of love. And each time, we’ve boosted our own mental health. This is a choice. While we may not always feel love and kindness toward ourselves, we can choose to do so, regularly, until we fully believe in our own worth.

There’s an inner critic in each of us. For some who may have grown up in a negative environment, that critic may be strong. For most of us, we’re too quick to judge ourselves as stupid or careless instead of simply a person who made a mistake. Self-compassion is the precise opposite of self-judgment.

Compassion. And gratitude. For good mental health.

Gratitude interventions have shown to increase positive mood, as one might expect, along with resilience and coping self-efficacy or belief in one’s capability for coping (Klibert et al., 2019). Gratitude has been studied in several forms, and in particular, expressed gratitude – giving voice to one’s appreciation, such as telling someone when you’re grateful for something they’ve done – has a significant effect on psychological wellbeing. In a review of 25 empirical studies totaling 6,745 participants (Kirca et al., 2023), expressed gratitude was shown to increase life satisfaction, positive mood, and happiness, all of which are wellbeing indicators.

We might translate this to our social media environments; while the current trend is increasingly for scrolling by, rather than engagement, a ‘like’ here, a ‘share’ there, or a positive comment are expressions of gratitude to the original poster – and a boost to your own wellbeing.

The development of secure attachment in childhood is also fostered by gratitude. In a 2-year longitudinal study of 157 children aged 9-12 years (Scott et al., 2021), trait gratitude was robustly linked with attachment and indirectly linked to decreased depression. Secure attachment is a strong contributor to psychological wellbeing.

Among veterans, a high-risk group for PTSD and other mental illness, gratitude is a protective factor. Using data from a US national veteran study, McGuire et al. (2021) demonstrated that gratitude decreased the current risk for PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, and the lifetime risk for developing PTSD, social phobia, depression, suicide attempt, and nicotine dependence. Higher gratitude was also associated with perceived social support, purpose in life, religion or spirituality, curiosity, and optimism, all indicators of psychological wellbeing.

Gratitude in the midst of adversity increases coping skills such as presence of meaning and emotion regulation, in turn contributing to positive mood, perseverance, resilience, and social connectedness, all of which enhance wellbeing (Kurian & Thomas, 2023). Among young adult survivors of sexual assault, gratitude and optimism were shown to decrease or even eliminate the link between PTSD and suicidal ideation (Kumar et al., 2022).

Neff (2023) delineates 6 components of self-compassion: emphasizing self-directed kindness, mindfulness, and a sense of one’s common humanity, while minimizing self-judgment, overidentification [with one’s mistakes or flaws], and isolation. On a review of the existing literature, she identifies a large number of self-compassion studies in which psychological and physical wellbeing are promoted, associations with weakness or self-indulgence dismissed, and multiple such interventions described.

Self-compassion contributes to mental health in non-cisgender and non-heterosexual populations, frequently marginalized and thus at increased risk for mental illness. A review of 21 studies totaling 6,573 participants (Carvalho & Guiomar, 2022) demonstrated greater degrees of self-compassion to be associated with decreased anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, general psychological distress, stigma, and internalized homo-/transphobia, along with increased openness, social support, and overall wellbeing.

The Loving Kindness Meditation of mindfulness and Buddhism (details in the exercises section below) has demonstrated significant promotion of self-compassion in a review of 7 studies (Reilly & Stuyvenberg, 2022). Self-compassion, mindfulness, and psychological resilience were demonstrated as contributory to the perception of both physical and mental health – that is, their presence helps us to perceive ourselves healthier, regardless of our current health challenges (Asensio-Martínez et al., 2019).

In fact, self-compassion is strongly associated with mindfulness, our next key. Meanwhile, let’s look at some exercises of both gratitude and self-compassion.

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Exercises:

On waking each morning, take the first minute or two to identify a few things for which you feel genuinely grateful in that moment. Once this becomes a habit, you’ll do it naturally and without having to remind yourself. It’s a lovely start to the day, setting the tone for the remainder.

Similarly, end your day with a minute or two of gratitude; don’t let yourself drift into a recitation of the same things each time (as is the tendency), but give it a bit of thought and name a few things for which, in that very moment, you’re genuinely feeling appreciative. Bookend each day in this way.

During the day, use gratitude as a stress-buster. When feeling stressed, angry, or frustrated about anything, try to interrupt this negativity with a moment of gratitude. When you want to rage at that idiot who just cut you off in traffic, see if you can identify one or two things for which you’re feeling grateful in that moment. In this way, gratitude becomes a mental health tool.

We can also think of someone with whom we have conflict, or simply dislike, or who’s wronged us or brought us pain…and try to think of one thing about this person for which we’re grateful. This serves to take just a bit of pressure off of us, in easing our negative emotion just a bit. (You never have to share this with that person, by the way. They don’t ever need to know you’ve actually found something about them for which you feel grateful. That’s your secret.)

Be sure to include yourself in the gratitude. In your morning and/or evening gratitude moments, name 1 personal aspect for which you’re appreciative, too.

And: self-compassion. Let’s begin with the Loving Kindness Meditation. In 5 parts, only the first is self-directed; even so, it’s known to increase self-compassion significantly, and is excellent for overall mental health. Getting into a meditative state, sit comfortably, with quiet mind and minimal distractions; focus on your breathing, slow and steady. When peaceful, shift your focus to compassion for yourself, enveloping and filling yourself with loving compassion. After a minute or two, shift your focus now to someone with whom you have a close relationship, and extend your compassion to this person, taking a minute or two to do so. Next is someone about whom you are neutral, perhaps an acquaintance, neighbor, or coworker; the fourth is more difficult: extend compassion to someone you actively dislike. Finally, allow your compassion to flood from you outward, to all sentient beings – compassion for humanity, for all species, for the natural world. After a minute or two of this, take a deep, cleansing breath to regain alertness, and reflect. Repeat often.

Another exercise for self-compassion: write down qualities about yourself that you don’t like, or things you’ve said or done for which you criticize yourself. Then, write or perhaps just think about what you’d say to a dear friend if they were telling you these things, instead of you. How would you respond? How would you encourage them? How would you try to help them see things more realistically, stop judging or criticizing themselves, forgive themselves, love themselves? Treat yourself in this way. Be that good friend to yourself.

9 Keys to Mental Self-Care: Health Psychology ©2023

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References:

Asensio-Martínez A, Oliván-Blázquez B, Montero-Marín J et al. (2019). Relation of the Psychological Constructs of Resilience, Mindfulness, and Self-Compassion on the Perception of Physical and Mental Health. Psychology Research and Behavior Management 12, 1155-1166. https://doi.org/10.2147/PRBM.S225169

Carvalho SA and Guiomar R (2022). Self-compassion and mental health in sexual and gender minority people: A systematic review and meta-analysis. LGBT Health 9:5, 287-302. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2021.0434

Homan K and Hosack L (2019). Gratitude and the self: Amplifying the good within. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment 29:7, 874-886. https://doi.org/10.1080/10911359.2019.1630345

Kirca A, Malouff JM, and Meynadier J (2023). The Effect of Expressed Gratitude Interventions on Psychological Wellbeing: A Meta-Analysis of Randomised Controlled Studies. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology 8:1, 63-86. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41042-023-00086-6

Klibert J, Rochani H, Samawi H et al. (2019). The Impact of an Integrated Gratitude Intervention on Positive Affect and Coping Resources. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology 3, 23-41. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41042-019-00015-6

Kumar SA, Jaffe AE, Brock RL et al. (2022). Resilience to suicidal ideation among college sexual assault survivors: The protective role of optimism and gratitude in the context of posttraumatic stress. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy 14:S1, S91-S100. https://doi.org/10.1037/tra0001141

Kurian RM and Thomas S (2023). Gratitude as a path to human prosperity during adverse circumstances: a narrative review. British Journal of Guidance & Counselling. https://doi.org/10.1080/03069885.2022.2154314

McGuire AP, Fogle BM, Tsai J et al. (2021). Dispositional gratitude and mental health in the U.S. veteran population: Results from the National Health and Resilience Veterans Study. Journal of Psychiatric Research 135, 279-288. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.01.020

Neff KD (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology 74, 193-218. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047

Reilly EB and Stuyvenberg CL (2022). A Meta-analysis of Loving-Kindness Meditations on Self-Compassion. Mindfulness 1-12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-022-01972-x

Scott V, Verhees M, de Raedt R et al. (2021). Gratitude: A Resilience Factor for More Securely Attached Children. Journal of Child and Family Studies 30, 416-430. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-020-01853-8