[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Mystical Experience: Transpersonal Psychology ©2023]

In this: we let go of our selfhood.

“The ego belongs to the relative world, is a stream of experience, a fluent mass of life, a center around which our experiences of sense and mind gather. At the back of this whole structure is the Universal Consciousness, Atman, which is our true being.” (Radhakrishnan, 1953, p. 91.)

One of the primary mystical phenomena associated with psychedelics is that of ego dissolution or death. It can bring intense anxiety, though usually short in duration, as it replicates death or insanity – the disappearance of the self. And as such, it’s one of the most powerful mystical experiences, often serving as a ‘reboot’ of one’s mind (Yaden et al., 2017).

Alongside ego death are those two related phenomena, often measured separately but arguably aspects of ego dissolution itself (Taves, 2020): oceanic boundlessness, and universal interconnectedness. The latter is viewed as a subdimension of the former on some measurement tools, though I would argue that they are distinct experiences. One is a vast spider web; the other, a vast ocean. In ego dissolution, our sense of identity, of self, disintegrates and disappears; the “I” expands outward, connected to every sentient being and at the same time, infinite. Close cousins, typically experienced in parallel.

In psychological terms this is viewed, perhaps unimaginatively, as ‘oneness’: a sense of profound unity, typically with nature or all of existence, an expansion of selfhood, an interdependence, and a fundamental truth (Coomber and Harré, 2022), or oneness self-perception and non-dual awareness that engenders alterations in perceptions of space, time, and identity, a sense of wholeness, and a flow state (Van Lente & Hogan, 2020) – or, the absence of egoic identity boundaries. Sound familiar?

Psychedelics are one method to ego dissolution, a common phenomenon; meditation, as mentioned in our previous key, is another, with its very goal of self-transcendence. We can also use guided imagery or visualization, hypnosis or trance, and other methods that we’ll soon explore.

But does the self truly, fully disappear?

It can certainly feel as if the self is swiftly disappearing, in (what, in reality, we can only imagine to be) a replication of death or insanity, often with intense if short-term anxiety as previously mentioned. But, as we can report on the experience at a later time, logically some aspect of selfhood as observer must remain, a fiber of memory-bearing consciousness (Hick, 2010).

In Buddhist meditation, there is a structure known as second, or dual, attention; the mind quiets, brain activity measurably slows, and one’s state of consciousness lowers, minimally aware of one’s surroundings if at all. Yet, should the house catch on fire, there is no question but that some part of our consciousness will be aware of it. This is the observer self, the one watching us have the experience and able to report on it after – an ability that, as far as we know, we are the only species to contain. This is autonoetic cognition as noted in our introduction – observation of the workings of our mind.

And so – a preview of death with its parallel momentary dread, a moment’s awareness of our boundlessness when the ego is suppressed, a touch of the collective unconscious and thus of our universal interconnectedness, a profound bliss, transcendence – with long-term memory of the experience and long-lasting effects.

Many years ago, relatively early in my engagement with transcendent practices, I endured a period of several months in which, every night as I lay down to sleep, I felt my selfhood descending into a bottomless pit and an overwhelming sadness that I was entering death and would not wake again. Sadness, I might add, for my loved ones, who I presumed would mourn me, but no perceivable sense of sadness for myself or my demise. Naturally, each subsequent morning I awoke, not with any noted relief but almost as if I’d forgotten the experience, to be repeated that night. I neither dreaded nightfall and sleep, nor felt in any way depressed or suicidal; I was engaging in ego death each night as part of my shift in consciousness from waking state to sleep, as I passed through the liminality that is hypnagogia. Spontaneously begun, spontaneously ended some months later, never to return in that form, despite decades now of further and far more advanced work of self-transcendence. [Full disclosure: I have always attributed my experience to the fact of residing at relatively high altitude at the time, despite an apparent absence of relevant research.]

The near-death experience itself has been identified as a form of ego dissolution, and is also related to the out-of-body experience (Martial et al., 2021). It could be posited that both of these phenomena are simply ego dissolution coupled with visionary restructuralization or visual hallucinations, a known subdimension of altered consciousness and mystical experience.

The neurobiology of ego dissolution is measurable; activity is noted especially in the prefrontal (cognitive) region in the presence of intense anxiety or dread of ego dissolution, but in the hippocampus (emotions, memory) when pure bliss or oceanic boundlessness is experienced instead, in each case mediating amygdala function, the structure most closely associated with both anger and fear (Mason et al., 2020). Stoliker et al. (2022) identify ego dissolution as a neurobiologically powerful effect on both sentience and consciousness, while psychologically it disarms ego resistance and allows for a widening of perception as well as alternate thinking and behavior. The sense of self is inverted or fades into the background – becomes part of the matrix, if you will; on fMRI, the brains of both experienced meditators and nuns (as engaging in prayer for multiple hours a day is akin to intense meditation) exhibit decreased activity in the insular cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, and medial prefrontal cortex, those regions associated with selfhood (Yaden & Newberg, 2022).

So, how can we achieve a state of self-transcendence?

.

Exercises:

For self-transcendence, we can use our previous method of meditation – and as we’ve already explored there, we can prime our experience by writing, brainstorming, or contemplating on letting go of ego, of the self – and maintaining that focus as we meditate. Lucid dreaming can be similarly used for this purpose.

But perhaps gaining clarity first is our best approach. A consideration, in journal-writing or deep contemplation, of what ‘ego death’ means to you, of how you already sense your interconnectedness to all sentient beings or your infinite expansiveness, is in order. Best to explore this topic beforehand, as it applies uniquely to each of us. This also begins to prime your unconscious for the experience itself, and the more you contemplate the topic, the more prepared your brain will be.

In psychedelic-induced mystical experience, and also that of those who regularly meditate, the principle of ‘letting go’ or of surrender to the experience greatly helps to facilitate it – and, helps to minimize the anxiety or fear that can come with ego dissolution. You can practice this skill in advance, by letting go of control on a regular basis in life; in any given situation, ask yourself: can I do anything about this? If so, do that; but if not, let go of any need for control, as it’s out of your hands. We can also meditate regularly on this concept of ‘letting go’, in advance of our attempts at mystical experience, preparing our ‘mental muscles’ in this way.

Mindfulness training is also useful, as it fine-tunes our capacity for sustained focus and attention, and our filters to minimize distraction; this is helpful in gaining and sustaining altered states of consciousness.

Use visualization (internally directed imagination) or guided imagery (imagination led by another person or recording) to explore both the near-death and out-of-body experiences. Be forewarned, this can be emotionally intense, as we willingly contemplate our own death and may feel as if we’re actually experiencing it. This prepares us for ego dissolution, however, as they’ve both been associated with the latter.

It bears repeating: if using guided imagery, write your own script or find one you like, but especially, pre-record it in your own voice for a much stronger effect than if spoken by another.

One such visualization is of the self as a balloon, ever-expanding (it cannot break); another, self as a cloud of gases spiraling ever outward, akin to the universe itself.

With deep, slow breathing and visualization of a waterfall, imagine yourself descending, descending with the water, and flowing out to the sea.

Visualize yourself shapeshifting into the form of another human, then another, and another, letting your ego morph into many others one by one, until your sense of your own identity has become flexible, changeable, less well defined.

Visualize your inner sage, a wise ancient woman or man, who holds you and tells you in a reassuring voice that it’s okay to let go, okay to let the self just float away – that this wise entity will ensure your safety and you’ll be fine, if you just let go, plug in, and expand outward.

References:

Coomber T and Harré N (2022). Psychological Oneness: A Typology. Review of General Psychology 26:1, 49-67. https://doi.org/10.1177/10892680211034457

Hick J (2010). The New Frontier of Religion and Science: Religious Experience, Neuroscience and the Transcendent. Palgrave MacMillan, London.

Martial C, Fontaine G, Gosseries O et al. (2021). Losing the Self in Near-Death Experiences: The Experience of Ego-Dissolution. Brain Sciences 11:7:929. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11070929

Mason NL, Kuypers KPC, Müller F et al. (2020). Me, myself, bye: Regional alterations in glutamate and the experience of ego dissolution with psilocybin. Neuropsychopharmacology 45, 2003-2011. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41386-020-0718-8

Radhakrishnan S (1953). The Principal Upanishads. London: George Allen & Unwin.

Stoliker D, Egan GF, Friston KJ et al. (2022). Neural Mechanisms and Psychology of Psychedelic Ego Dissolution. Pharmacological Reviews 74:4, 876-917. https://doi.org/10.1124/pharmrev.121.000508

Taves A (2020). Mystical and Other Alterations in Sense of Self: An Expanded Framework for Studying Nonordinary Experiences. Perspectives on Psychological Science 15:3, 669-690. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619895047

Van Lente E and Hogan MJ (2020). Understanding the Nature of Oneness Experience in Meditators Using Collective Intelligence Methods. Frontiers in Psychology 11:2092. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.02092

Yaden DB, Haidt J, Hood RW et al. (2017). The Varieties of Self-Transcendent Experience. Review of General Psychology 21:2, 143-160. https://doi.org/10.1037/gpr0000102

Yaden DB and Newberg AB (2022). ‘Mystical Experiences: Unity and Ego-Dissolution’. In: The Varieties of Spiritual Experience: 21st Century Research and Perspectives. New York: Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780190665678.003.0012

[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Meaning-Making: Transpersonal Psychology ©2023]

Our 5th key focuses on altered states of consciousness, and the mystical experience. Interrelated, both are fundamental elements of transpersonal psychology and also highly conducive to the establishment and presence of meaning. The mystical experience has been associated with religions for centuries, and is now being explored scientifically, in secular contexts.

Altered states of consciousness include a wide range outside of the alert and sleep states; both meditation and lucid dreaming, two aspects of our 2nd key of noetic experience, fall into this category. Mindfulness meditation, therefore, would also qualify, even though mindfulness itself could be considered a ‘hyperalert’ state of finely tuned focus.

The altered state of psychedelics, so utterly transpersonal in nature, is commonly associated with the phenomenon of mystical experience; far from a paranormal construct, this brain-based experience is measured by a range of scientific instruments, including 5 Dimensions of Altered States of Consciousness [5D-ASC] and 11D-ASC, Hood Mysticism Scale, Mystical Experiences Questionnaire, and States of Consciousness Questionnaire, among others (Ko et al., 2022). The phenomenon is often described as ‘life-changing’ as, in mystical experience, we view ourselves and our lives with keen insight.

But can we also induce an altered state, and achieve mystical experience, without ingesting psychedelics? Yes, and yes.

In this key, we focus on 2 related methods, self-hypnosis and trance. Much has been written about each; an overview and basic techniques are offered here, as the scope of this book is broad. By each of these we can alter consciousness and achieve mystical experience; the connection to presence of meaning is in accessing the transpersonal realm.

We are now moving into deeper states of consciousness. While not easy to categorize, it could be said in terms of depth that we go from meditation to lucid dreaming, hypnosis, and then trance – and ultimately, still to be discussed: ego dissolution and self-transcendence. Trance is a form of deliberate dissociation, not to be undertaken casually; Taves (2020) equates the category of mystical experience to alteration of the self, and proposes that our measures of same should be expanded, to include negative or harmful experiences as well as those deemed beneficial. It’s therefore recommended for those who feel mentally stable with a strong sense of self, and perhaps without any history of psychosis.

Each of these – with an eye toward meaning-making.

ASC, any state in which brain rhythms are measurably slower than in waking consciousness or the alert state, provides us with a view into our own psyche (Furlong, 2022). These states can be induced by oneself or a therapist, by various methods or by psychedelics or similar; they can also occur spontaneously.

Schoeller (2023) has proposed that ASC be considered as ‘primary states’, similar to those of childhood or senility in that, unlike secondary states, they’re uninhibited by sociocultural concerns but are a pure fusion of emotion, communication, and action, with a temporary relaxing of self-control in the form of ‘surrender’ or ‘non-attachment’. Referring to such states as ‘mind-revealing’, Schoeller gives examples including hypnosis and trance, as well as dreams, religious experience, creative breakthrough, psychedelic experience, catastrophe and psychosis; milder forms are seen in daydreaming, absorption or ‘flow’, meditation, regression, and transient psychotic episodes.

And so: self-hypnosis.

Hypnosis, as indicated by Schoeller, can be viewed as light trance; the two are sometimes equated without differentiation. However, if you’ve ever had occasion to observe a traditional shaman at work, for example, or experienced deep trance yourself, you’ll know that there is a chasm between them. While hypnosis does have a deeper, spontaneous state known as somnambulism (i.e., sleepwalking), the self-induced version or waking hypnosis is our workable objective, hovering somewhere between meditation and trance.

Waking hypnosis, as differentiated from trance, includes a certain measure of suggestibility and a suspension of our critical faculty or ordinary judgment, whereby we can establish new thought patterns (Phipps, 2019). This state, in which our attention is detached from the surrounding environment and instead focused inward, is induced by a sharp focus of attention and engagement of our imagination to the point that it feels real (Williamson, 2019) – and thus, a practice of mindfulness may help one to facilitate self-hypnosis more easily.. In this state, we can give ourselves suggestions, either verbally or through images (more on that in the Exercises section), toward a particular outcome.

One doesn’t need to have previously experienced hypnosis induced by another, in order to achieve this state through self-induction. In a review of 22 studies, Eason and Parris (2019) discerned that self-induction, or independent self-directed skill, needs no prior experience; their review further identified that listening to audio recordings of another’s induction did not seem to have any notable effect. Benefits of self-hypnosis demonstrated in the studies included reduction of pain, stress, and anxiety, with medium-to-large effect size.

There are many misconceptions about hypnosis, and Lynn et al. (2020) noted and debunked 20 such. Key myths identified include both polarities regarding benefits, i.e., hypnosis as a cure-all and as ineffective; that people are simply hypnotizable or not, that hypnotic methods require great skill, that some types of inductions are more effective than others, that during hypnosis one is minimally or unaware of surroundings, that hypnosis is similar to the sleep state or mindfulness, that hypnosis induces trance including an involuntary aspect, or that hypnosis reliably improves memory or allows long-term memory recall through age regression. None of these are accurate, according to the extensive literature review conducted by these researchers.

And now: trance.

The trance state can range from light to deep, and at its light stage, bears a relationship to the phenomenon of ‘flow’, a construct of complete absorption typically seen in conjunction with creativity and innovation. The condition induced by psychedelics is also akin to a trance state, as is the transcendent ecstasy or bliss of a peak experience. The more unique ‘out-of-body’ experience can also be viewed as a form of trance, whether spontaneous or induced, including the near-death experience. The aforementioned shaman goes into trance in ritual, to commune with and often become temporarily ‘possessed’ by entities from the spirit world; similarly, trance has been commonly associated with religious experience.

Defining trance as ‘mental absorption’, Bronkhorst (2022) notes some areas of overlap with Buddhist meditation, flow, prayer, mystical experience, ritual, and hypnosis, describing this as the shifting between explicit (conscious) and implicit (unconscious) systems of the brain. In a case study of a shaman in active trance state, Rogerson et al. (2021) identified neural correlates according to brain activity detected by fMRI, and further noted the seeming necessity of auditory stimuli for its induction. Bickel (2020) has deemed trance ‘arational practice’ falling outside of rational or irrational states, further proposing its use in education, in forms of trance-based inquiry and trance-based learning.

As mentioned, the flow state – a key component of positive psychology and included in transpersonal phenomena – is similar to that of trance. This deep absorption is characterized by a balance of task and skill, clear goals and markers of progress, loss of self-consciousness, distortions of time, and a fusion of action and awareness (Csikszentmihalyi & Nakamura, 2018; Shepherd, 2022); actor and action become as one. Flow is most often associated with the creative act, though also with learning, and with physical activity such as sports in which complete concentration is required.

Finally, we have the out-of-body experience [OBE], one form of which is the near-death experience [NDE]. Transpersonal in nature and related to the trance state, this phenomenon involves a perceived separation of self from body, as opposed to our 3rd key of somatic knowledge which merges mind and body as one; both are sources of meaning. Shaw et al. (2023) have identified 8 outcomes of OBE: powerful motivating factor, diminished fear of death, greater sense of peace, changed perspective on life, increased self-awareness, a perception of one’s individuality, a reevaluation of one’s relationships, and a newfound or reaffirmed spiritual belief. They refer to OBE / NDE as phenomena commonly associated with profound change, especially in terms of diminished death anxiety.

On to our experiences, of self-hypnosis and of deep trance – for meaning-making.

.

Exercises:

First: hypnosis. A light type of trance, particularly so for experienced meditators, it’s an easier state to access, so we begin here.

Begin as in meditation, with a quieting of the mind and slow, steady breathing, distractions minimized. Give yourself an external focus; a candle flame is particularly effective, but you can also use a small glass globe, a decorative jar filled with colored water, or a mirror and your own eyes. (That last one is often emotionally powerful.) Continuing your quiet mind and slow, deep breathing, focus intensely on the object you’ve chosen – first with clear focus, noticing all of its detail (color of flame, for example), then softening your focus as you feel yourself stepping into or infusing with the focal point. Continue in this state for a moment, allowing your breathing now to carry you deeper and deeper into the object of your focus, until you feel a shift as if you are now inside the object. Maintaining this state, allow the word ‘meaning’ to bubble up in your mind; let it simmer there for a while, without trying to interpret it, just maintaining your central focus on the concept of ‘meaning’. When you feel your awareness again shift – when you begin to be aware of the object that was your original focal point, as your focus moves slowly back outside of it and you gaze upon it – carry that ‘meaning’ concept with you. Take a few more deep breaths, and reflect, exploring all that you’ve learned.

This is the basic skill for self-hypnosis; the focus or purpose, once ‘inside’ the focal object, has countless variations, ours here being one of meaning-making; you can also use it for any type of auto-suggestion, including nuances of meaning – as in, exploration of a particular area of meaning already known to you. Engage repeatedly. Use various objects for focus, both to find what works best for you, and to give your brain various foci to ‘play with’ rather than letting it become too familiarized with just one.

One more note: while research has found that being guided by another, including recordings, doesn’t seem to have a notable effect, you might try what we’ve seen in other keys: find a hypnosis induction script that you like, or write your own, and record it in your own voice with a lead of silence for the settling-in period. You might find it easier to achieve the hypnotic state by guiding yourself in this way.

And on to trance.

As the research has shown, a repetitive form of sound is especially helpful to induce a trance state. Prepare by gathering several such recordings, readily available online: steady drumming, Tibetan singing bowl, human heartbeat, or 40 Hz pure tone binaural beat, for example. (You will use only one per trance induction, but may want to explore in different sessions to find which of these is best for you.) A note: the sound must be steady and uninterrupted, so playlists or recordings with advertisement breaks will not do.

Recordings of nature sounds are also not always useful, as a sudden bird call or lightning strike startles and disturbs the trance state; the same goes for bell ringing, as we need very steady and rhythmic sound rather than intermittent. Beating your own drum is also not so effective, as it would require a dual rather than dedicated focus. (A shaman always has others playing the instruments, for example, so he/she can maintain focus elsewhere.) It is possible to do both – but requires advanced skill in trance induction.

Another advantage of recorded sound is that it has a duration; find recordings that are 20 minutes or 1 hour or whatever length you’re allotting to the experience as, once the recording concludes and silence ensues, you will naturally and gradually return to an alert state. (Make sure that your recording stands alone, and will not give way to whatever follows it in a playlist, for example.) Alternately, you can set an alarm – but ensure that it will gradually sound, rather than loudly and suddenly.

Best now to use earbuds or headphones, so all external distractions are removed; a blindfold or eyeshade to shut out visual stimuli is also helpful. Sit comfortably, in a safe place where you can be uninterrupted and need not focus on the external; sometimes, even sitting inside a closet with the door closed provides an optimal setting. With your recording in your ears, focus on your breathing, its rhythm gradually matching that of the recording. Once you feel relaxed and your breathing is matched to the sound, focus entirely on the latter, allowing the sound to take you ever deeper into your own mind.

As you focus on the rhythmic sound, keep the word ‘meaning’ firmly in your mind. Allow yourself to go deeply into the experience, knowing that you are in a very safe, secure, and private space, are comfortable, and have a way out: a limit to your music or an alarm set, in order to return with ease at the session’s conclusion. When you do finally emerge, take a few deep breaths, and reflect: what have you learned? How does this reflect on your presence of and search for meaning? Repeat this process on a regular basis, monthly or even weekly. Each time you do, you’ll find yourself able to go more deeply into your unconscious.

Trance can also be used for other more specific life questions, of course, and for stimulating creativity, as the flow state is one type of trance. We can also engage in trance to experience the ecstatic or bliss state; when in the trance, focus not on ‘meaning’ but on ‘happiness’ and allow it to expand, and expand, and expand, until you are filled to overflowing with this emotion, infused. This is the original purpose of trance music and dance, too, found in indigenous forms of worship throughout cultures; you can engage in trance coupled with movement, or simply sway or rock your body when in the sitting position.

References:

Bickel BA (2020). Trance, Sacred Place and Collaboration. In: Art, Ritual, and Trance Inquiry. Palgrave Studies in Movement across Education, the Arts and the Social Sciences. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-45745-7_3

Bronkhorst J (2022). Buddhist meditation, flow and ritual. In:  Anand S (ed), Rethinking Buddhism: Text, context and interpretations (pp. 183-203). Delhi: Primus Publishers.

Csikszentmihalyi M and Nakamura J (2018). Flow, Altered States of Consciousness, and Human Evolution. Journal of Consciousness Studies 25:11-12, 102-14.

Eason AD and Parris BA (2019). Clinical applications of self-hypnosis: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice 6:3, 262-278. https://doi.org/10.1037/cns0000173

Furlong D (2022). Altered states of consciousness within therapeutic modalities – exploring commonalities of experience: A qualitative grounded theory study. Consciousness, Spirituality & Transpersonal Psychology 3, 158-171. https://doi.org/10.53074/cstp.2022.33

Ko K, Knight G, Rucker JJ et al. (2022). Psychedelics, Mystical Experience, and Therapeutic Efficacy: A Systematic Review. Frontiers in Psychiatry 13:917199. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.917199

Lynn SJ, Kirsch I, Terhune DB et al. (2020). Myths and misconceptions about hypnosis and suggestion: Separating fact and fiction. Applied Cognitive Psychology 34, 1253-1264. https://doi.org/10.1002/acp.3730

Phipps WD (2019). Waking Hypnosis as a Psychotherapeutic Technique. Sleep and Hypnosis: A Journal of Clinical Neuroscience and Psychopathology 21:3, 188-200. http://dx.doi.org/10.5350/Sleep.Hypn.2019.21.0187

Rogerson RG, Barnstaple RE, and DeSouza JF (2021). Neural Correlates of a Trance Process and Alternative States of Consciousness in a Traditional Healer. Brain Sciences 11:4:497. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci11040497

Schoeller F (2023). Primary States of Consciousness: A Review of Historical and Contemporary Developments. PsyArXiv PPR652946 [preprint]. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/r8pmk

Shaw J, Gandy S, and Stumbrys T (2023). Transformative effects of spontaneous out of body experiences in healthy individuals: An interpretative phenomenological analysis. Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice. https://doi.org/10.1037/cns0000324

Shepherd J (2022). Flow and the dynamics of conscious thought. Phenomenology and the Cognitive Sciences 21, 969-988. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11097-021-09762-x

Taves A (2020). Mystical and Other Alterations in Sense of Self: An Expanded Framework for Studying Nonordinary Experiences. Perspectives on Psychological Science 15:3, 669-690. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619895047

Williamson A (2019). What is hypnosis and how might it work? Palliative Care: Research and Treatment 12. https://doi.org/10.1177/1178224219826581

[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Transcendent Aging: Transpersonal Psychology ©2023]

As we age, we’re expected to disengage.

Or so say those normative expectations of aging we saw in the introduction. And I admit: while I’m resistant to anyone else telling me to ‘disengage’, as an aging introvert I find the idea of retreating into my solitude appealing. To a degree.

As we saw, this expectation was primarily one of disengaging from our professional identity and/or the active raising of a family, aka, retirement. Many claim to be more socially active in later years than ever before, as they have time to do so; we know that ongoing social engagement is essential for healthy aging. (Even for us introverts.)

The engagement in this key, however, is something else: our deep engagement with the present moment, to absorbing and often creative activity, to life itself, and in the transpersonal scheme, to the mystical (metaphysical) (spiritual) realm. In positive psychology, this phenomenon has been identified as the ‘flow state’.

We all know it. When fully absorbed in a sport, creative, or otherwise engaging activity, our attention is laser-focused: the activity is something we love, our passion carries us, our goals are clear; the outer world fades into the distance, time is distorted, and we become one with the activity itself. The artist describes art as a force that flows through; the writer, that characters and story develop themselves — and the toddler truly doesn’t hear Mum calling.

Transpersonal and transcendent by definition, this is also psychological engagement at its purest, as universal connectedness, as mystical experience. Engagement has continuity throughout the lifespan (Freire et al., 2021; Tse, Nakamura, & Csikszentmihalyi, 2022), and among older adults is a strong predictor of vitality or zest for life (Chang, 2020).

Prediction of engagement can be found in its self-perpetuating nature: once experienced, never forgotten, and sought out again and again. As we age, however, we often choose not to engage in new activities, in a false belief that they’re too difficult; if we do engage, however, we overcome this barrier (Hess et al., 2021). Also with age, we’re more likely to engage within a group than independently (Worm et al., 2021), while the flow state has also been found in more leisurely activities of older adults when attention and pleasure are predominant (Standridge et al., 2020). One such is gardening, both at home and in community (Scott et al., 2020) – and even virtual gardening (Szczepańska-Gieracha et al., 2021).

In fact, virtual and augmented reality are opening up a whole new world of potential engagement for older adults, with endless possibilities. Online engagement, too: in a study by Chen et al. (2022), older adults who were technologically savvy and regularly engaged online reported greater communication with family and friends, more independence and sense of self-efficacy, involvement in online communities, increased wellbeing and life satisfaction, and decreased risk of depression. While this also constitutes social engagement, we all know about that total absorption online as hours go by, and it can thus represent both meanings of ‘engagement’.

And let’s include a word about solitary activity. Once thought to indicate isolation and loneliness, in today’s overly busy world (and on the heels of the recent pandemic with its mandated solitude), it’s increasingly valued precisely in terms of engagement and individual pursuits. When by choice, with a sense of agency and focused on goal-directed activities, solitary activity is not only considered healthy but an opportunity for psychological development (Kay et al., 2023).

Retaining one’s passion for, enjoyment of, and deep absorption in pleasurable, goal-driven activities as we age is a primary goal, and zest for life, or vitality, a major indicator of health. This engagement or flow also represents self-transcendence in that we are one with the cosmos and engaged in universal connectedness and oceanic boundlessness; the ‘self’ ceases to exist and pure pleasure and, often, creativity remain.

Flow. In the zone. Zen.

.

Exercises:

Flow is generated by rhythmic movement, or moving meditation, which is why it’s so prevalent in sports and exercise. Adopt a daily form of moving meditation – a stretching routine, perhaps (yoga or otherwise), with soft music in the background and a lit candle in the room, or similar. As you stretch, quiet your mind, connect deeply to the movement and enjoyment of your body, and allow your mind to float.

The flow state is also deeply connected to the natural world. Get yourself into nature regularly, by whatever means suits you. Whether walking in the forest or sitting in a garden, try to immerse yourself in the natural world and apart from the mundane, sitting still and quieting the mind, and breathing with the trees and plants and creatures around you.

Breathe deeply. A flow state can be induced by breathwork – deep and/or patterned breathing for a sustained period of time. Strictly speaking, this isn’t meditation; you can have eyes opened and not aim for an altered state of consciousness so much as a physical shift in which, by your focused breathing, your body reaches a state of deep relaxation and oneness with the surrounding environment.

We can also engage flow in writing – the free-form, uncensored writing such as in a journal. The aim is for accessing the unconscious, so steady writing without stopping to review or consider is the aim; let your writing, and your mental state, flow together as one.

Listening to instrumental music (as we aren’t tempted to think about its words and meaning), deeply listening with a singular focus and minimal distraction, is another method for engendering the flow state. Listen to a symphony from beginning to end. Close your eyes and let the music flow over and through you – and your mind and spirit to flow with it.

Tend a garden. No matter how large or small, the care of a garden in which the hours flow by, as we focus solely on our plants and the sun, soil, and water which nurture them, is an excellent activity for achieving a sustained flow state.

References:

Chang LC (2020). Relationship between flow experience and subjective vitality among older adults attending senior centres. Leisure Studies 39:3, 433-443. https://doi.org/10.1080/02614367.2020.1763441

Chen E, Wood D, and Ysseldyk R (2022). Online Social Networking and Mental Health among Older Adults: A Scoping Review. Canadian Journal on Aging / La Revue Canadienne Du Vieillissement 41:1, 26-39. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0714980821000040

Freire T, Gissubel K, Tavares D et al. (2021). Flow Experience in Human Development: Understanding Optimal Functioning Along the Lifespan. In: Peifer C and Engeser S (eds), Advances in Flow Research. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-53468-4_12

Hess TM, Lothary AF, O’Brien EL et al. (2021). Predictors of engagement in young and older adults: The role of specific activity experience. Psychology and Aging 36:2, 131-142. https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000561

Kay MJ, Kay SA, Cheetham F, and Hu H (2023). The Pursuit of the Solitary. Journal of the Association for Consumer Research 8:2, 187-194. https://doi.org/10.1086/724177

Scott TL, Masser BM, and Pachana NA (2020). Positive aging benefits of home and community gardening activities: Older adults report enhanced self-esteem, productive endeavours, social engagement and exercise. SAGE Open Medicine 8. https://doi.org/10.1177%2F2050312120901732 

Standridge SH, Dunlap R, and Hamilton G (2020). Retirement and Flow: Can the Casual Leisure Pursuits of Older Adults in Retirement Create the Experience of Flow? Activities, Adaptation & Aging 44:3, 192-209. https://doi.org/10.1080/01924788.2019.1651177

Szczepańska-Gieracha J, Cieślik B, Serweta A et al. (2021). Virtual Therapeutic Garden: A Promising Method Supporting the Treatment of Depressive Symptoms in Late-Life: A Randomized Pilot Study. Journal of Clinical Medicine 10:9:1942. https://doi.org/10.3390/jcm10091942

Tse DCK, Nakamura J, and Csikszentmihalyi M (2022). Flow Experiences Across Adulthood: Preliminary Findings on the Continuity Hypothesis. Journal of Happiness Studies 23, 2517-2540. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-022-00514-5

Worm T and Stine-Morrow EAL (2021). May the Flow be with You: Age Differences in the Influence of Social Motives and Context on the Experience of Activity Engagement. Journal of Adult Development 28, 265-275. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-021-09375-3

[excerpted from, 9 Keys to Building Resilience: Health Psychology ©2023]

Another trait we can cultivate, to build our resilience: forgiveness.

Forgiveness, of self as well as others, enhances our inner strength. Feeling wronged, carrying wounds and injustices, takes a great deal of emotional strength and is exhausting. We forgive not to absolve another of their wrongdoing, but to free ourselves.

And self-forgiveness? This is parallel to self-compassion, in our next key; carrying the weight of another’s harm of us is heavy enough, but carrying our sense of self-harm, rumination over mistakes we’ve made, is almost too heavy to bear. Acknowledging our mistakes and learning from them, making amends to another if relevant, and then letting go of this in a conscious act of self-forgiveness is very freeing indeed – and, resilient.

I lived for a decade in a nation with longstanding collective grudges against several of its neighbors. To be sure, this small country has experienced centuries of attacks from larger surrounding lands, while territorial and other disputes continue to this day. In one such, wherein the other country truly did commit heinous acts against this one a century ago, and has signed treaties and issued multiple formal apologies, it is never considered sincere or sufficient and this tiny nation continues to carry its burden of victimization.

We must seek justice when human rights have been violated. And if reparations don’t go far enough, we must continue in our quest. But to hold onto ancient and collective grudges can be especially heavy.

And so – we forgive in order to free ourselves. This too is a definition of resilience; we don’t blithely forget the past, but we recover, and we thrive, in finding ways to leave it behind – while carrying only its lessons forward. And this trait, we can practice and strengthen, in order to build reserves of resilience.

When I was just 20 years of age, 4 decades ago, I had already been carrying years of childhood pain. In a healing circle, popular at the time, I was lying in the center with 5 people sitting all around me who were focusing their healing work my way. I was curious, but didn’t have a particular agenda; suddenly, an image of the one I felt most wounded by came into my consciousness, and soon thereafter, dissipated – taking with it the pain and injustice I’d been carrying. Sitting up again at session’s end, I felt light and free; searching for that old pain, attempting to deliberately call it forward, I couldn’t do so, and it’s gone to this day. Instead: forgiveness, and even more: letting go.

Flourishing. Doesn’t the word itself lift your heart? Flourishing, or living our best life as I like to call it, is another term for thriving…which is another term for, resilient. While we often think of resilience as the ability to withstand, to cope, and to recover from a crisis or major chronic stressor, in fact there’s more to the concept: not only do we survive, but we thrive.

Forgiveness can help move us further along toward that mark of thriving, of flourishing. In a conceptual review, Toussaint (2022) demonstrates just that: forgiveness of others and of oneself facilitates flourishing, in improved mental as well as physical health and overall happiness. And who doesn’t want more of all that?

But how does self-forgiveness play out in collectivist, rather than individualist and self-oriented, cultures? Taiwan provides one such example. The study of Hsu (2021), with 232 participants, categorized self-forgiveness in 3 ways: positive change, an increase in wisdom, and embodied awareness – understanding not only in mind but also through one’s physical body, in what we might term, letting go. All were correlated with both self-control, a critical component in collectivist societies, and resilience.

In physical health, multiple studies have associated forgiveness with a host of conditions. As a sampling, we see that O’Beirne et al. (2020), in a review of 7 prior studies, demonstrate an association between the capacity to forgive and the experience of chronic pain; forgiveness decreases the experience of pain and/or increases one’s tolerance of same, while the reverse is also true: inability to forgive can increase pain and decrease tolerance. In another study, 222 people living with HIV/AIDS who engaged in processes of forgiving self and others experienced improvement in health and happiness, or life satisfaction; perceived stress was a mediator of poor health both physical and mental, and forgiveness relieved their stress (Toussaint et al., 2023).

This is key: holding onto negative emotion constitutes strong tension and exacerbates the stress of one’s illness, whether physical or mental; forgiveness allows one to let go of said tension, thereby easing the underlying symptoms. This mechanism is also how forgiveness relates directly to resilience; when we keep ourselves as free as possible of the tension associated with negative emotions, we’re more flexible, less stressed, stronger, more readily adaptable, and generally better prepared for whatever adversity may come – or is already here.

In an example of mental health, forgiveness has been demonstrated to manage anger and decrease depression in adolescents, through regulation of negative emotion (Barcaccia et al., 2019); again, we have emotional regulation and health, directly related to the strengthening of resilience.

In natural disasters, the so-called ‘act of god’, divine forgiveness may be in order. In a study by Fincham and May (2021), the psychological distress of viewing deity as a cause of disaster, for those religious, exacerbated the psychological effects stemming from the disaster itself: the greater the degree of divine forgiveness, the lesser the long-term effects on the mind. We could also see this in the sudden death of a child, for example, or any other ‘injustice’ or moral injury without cause.

This is what psychologists might also call ‘cognitive dissonance’, when two psychological variables conflict with one another, particularly if one relates to an individual’s identity (e.g., religion and belief in deity) and the other represents a massive disruption of same; without some form of resolution between the two, mental distress and even illness results.

Similarly, in natural disaster one’s presence of meaning is often disrupted or even shattered. A search for meaning ensues, often in the disaster itself, as we seek to correct this gross cosmic imbalance; the necessary reconstruction of meaning predicts forgiveness, in fact, from which posttraumatic growth can occur, and which may be individually and/or collectively undertaken (Cameron et al, 2022).

War or related activity in a conflict zone is another example of such trauma and moral injury, not unlike natural disaster (albeit less likely to be attributed to deity). In war action, including displacement, the ability to forgive one’s perpetrator is a predictor of resilience and mental health (Kravchuk, 2020).

We see this also in moral injuries of childhood, carried over into adulthood with resultant disruptions of posttraumatic disorder; this could be in the form of abusive care in state or welfare facilities (Soffer-Elnekave et al., 2023), or childhood sexual abuse (Gunnarsdóttir et al., 2021), for example. There are many ways to heal and to restore and boost resilience; forgiveness, in its freeing of the mind and releasing of tension, in its positive reappraisal, and in its repair of cognitive dissonance – in this case, the injured person’s self-esteem versus feeling worthless because of the early abuse – is one such path.

As in the relationship between parent or other caregiver and child, in any relational trauma and resilience, when one has violated the trust of the other (e.g., by having an affair, or through dishonesty or abuse), forgiveness is one means of restoring resilience. A study by Thompson and Korsgaard (2019) demonstrated that those who identify with the other are more likely to forgive, and that forgiveness facilitates resilience within the relationship, stronger than before.

And so, when we can, when it’s appropriate: we forgive. And we are stronger, and more resilient, as a result.

.

Exercises:

Again, clarity first: begin with brainstorming, mind-mapping, journal-writing, contemplating, or similar on the concept of forgiveness, including what it means to you, pros and cons, where your forgiveness of someone else – or of fate – is needed, and where you might need to forgive yourself.

Meditate on the topic of forgiveness; sitting comfortably, your mind quiet and distractions minimized, with a focus on slow and steady breathing, shift your topic to forgiveness; continue to meditate on this for a while, not trying to forgive but simply focusing on the word, letting it fill your being; whenever you notice your thoughts have drifted, simply refocus on your breathing and shift to the focus on forgiveness once more. When your meditation has come to a natural conclusion, spend some time afterward in reflection: what have you learned? What came as a surprise? What will you do with any insight you’ve gained?

Write a letter (confession?) – to another person, to yourself, to the cosmos – of whatever it is that you need to forgive, in as much detail as possible, knowing that no one else will ever read it. Then, when it’s finished: burn it to ash, and blow those ashes away.

Write a letter as if from the person who you feel wronged you, from their perspective, allowing them to explain why they did whatever it was to you or similar, and/or to apologize. Be as free and open as you can, letting that other person ‘have their say’ as fully as possible (assured that you never actually have to speak with them if you don’t want). When it’s finished – burn it, and blow the ashes away.

Take a hand mirror, sit comfortably, quiet your mind and slow your breathing, and then look into your own eyes. After a minute of connecting with your inner self, begin saying slowly and compassionately, “I forgive you.” Repeat as many times as feels right, until it feels complete. Then take a deep, cleansing breath – and walk away.

Engage in an exercise of ‘What would it look like if–?’ Either in a journal entry, or in your imagination, explore fully what it would look like IF you forgave (whoever or whatever or yourself). Without making any commitment to do so, imagine what it would be like if you did, in some detail and walking yourself through the whole of it. When the exercise is complete, take a deep breath and reflect on it. Ask yourself if it’s changed your ability to forgive in any way.

Similarly, you can engage in an exercise of guided imagery, in which you talk yourself through a ‘What if’ exercise as above. Write out the entire scenario as you imagine it; record what you’ve written, slowly in your own voice. Then, get into a meditative state or peaceful and quiet frame of mind, relaxed and eyes closed, and listen to your own recorded voice talking you through the scene. Reflect afterward.

Each morning and evening, or whenever you look into a mirror as part of your daily routine, say aloud: I forgive. There need be no object; you are engaging in forgiveness in the abstract. Each time you say it, you strengthen this ability in your own mind, and when forgiveness is needed, it will be easier. You’re priming yourself for forgiveness. Similarly, if you do know that you need to forgive in some way but aren’t ready, this simple 2-word affirmation will help. Speak the words aloud many times each day; one day, you’ll find there’s been a shift within you.

Make amends if needed.

References:

Barcaccia B, Pallini S, Pozza A et al. (2019). Forgiving Adolescents: Far from Depression, Close to Well-Being. Frontiers in Psychology 10:1725. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01725

Cameron EC, Kalayjian A, Toussaint L et al. (2022). Meaning-Making Predicts Forgiveness as an Indicator of Posttraumatic Growth with a Stronger Effect for Natural Disasters. Journal of Humanistic Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1177/00221678221075910

Fincham FD and May RW (2021). Divine forgiveness protects against psychological distress following a natural disaster attributed to God. Journal of Positive Psychology 16:1, 20-26. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2019.1689411

Gunnarsdóttir H, Löve J, Hensing G et al. (2021). To Live, Not Only Survive—An Ongoing Endeavor: Resilience of Adult Swedish Women Abused as Children. Frontiers in Public Health 9:599921. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2021.599921

Hsu HP (2021). The Psychological Meaning of Self-Forgiveness in a Collectivist Context and the Measure Development. Psychology Research and Behavior Management 14, 2059-2069. https://doi.org/10.2147/PRBM.S336900

Kravchuk SL (2020). Willingness to forgiveness as a predictor of mental health and psychological resilience of displaced persons from the zone of military conflict in Eastern Ukraine. Social Welfare: Interdisciplinary Approach 10:1, 21-34. https://doi.org/10.21277/sw.v1i10.503

O’Beirne S, Katsimigos AM, and Harmon D (2020). Forgiveness and chronic pain: a systematic review. Irish Journal of Medical Science 189, 1359-1364. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11845-020-02200-y

Soffer-Elnekave R, Haight W, Nashandi NJ et al. (2023). Re-orienting narratives of moral injury towards positive development: The experiences of emerging adults with child welfare histories. Children and Youth Services Review 149:106922. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2023.106922

Thompson BS and Korsgaard MA (2019). Relational Identification and Forgiveness: Facilitating Relationship Resilience. Journal of Business and Psychology 34, 153-167. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10869-018-9533-1

Toussaint L (2022). Forgiveness and flourishing: Research and education. Spiritual Care 11:4, 313-320. https://doi.org/10.1515/spircare-2022-0042

Toussaint LL, Skalski-Bednarz SB, Lanoix JP et al. (2023). The Relationship Between Forgiveness and Health Outcomes Among People Living with HIV: A Cross-Sectional Study in France. AIDS and Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10461-023-04052-w